How to Make a Good First Impression (Without Appearing Desperate)
Disclaimer: This post was originally published on our UK partner’s site.
Whether it’s getting your coffee just the way you like it, turning a first date into a second or wooing new clients at work, making a good first impression is key.
In fact, scientists peg the time it takes to form a first impression at just 100 milliseconds. And body language experts have uncovered first-moment signals that influence how we perceive people over the long-term.
So, how do you make a great first impression without appearing too keen? As psychotherapist Atalanta Beaumont explains, “Humans can work like a wolf pack when in groups, and if they get a sniff of desperation they will either ostracise the perpetrator or target them unkindly.”
One way to avoid getting devoured is to offer a firm, 3-4 second handshake. Researchers at the University of Alabama found that a good handshake signals a positive, outgoing and emotionally expressive character. Mastering the art of the handshake shows confidence and assertiveness, without that awkward “do I, don’t I?” air-kiss moment.
It’s a good idea to ask questions, too. Harvard researchers discovered that talking about the self is inherently pleasurable – so much so that we’re motivated to speak about ourselves more than other topic. Try asking follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing.
And don’t forget to show you’re listening by leaning in – but not too much! Emotional intelligence experts TalentSmart found that 90% of top performers know the unspoken signals of body language, including respecting the personal space “bubble” by not sitting or standing too close to others. Aim to leave 1.5 feet of space; that’s about the length from your elbow to fingertip.
For more proven ways to get on someone’s good side without trying too hard, check out the easy-to-do tips on our infographic.
Sources
Jarrett, C. (2014) The psychology of first impressions – digested. digest.bps.org.uk
Vitelli, R. (2016) The Science of Making a Better First Impression. psychologytoday.com
Gardner, G. (2017. How to Make a Positive First Business Impression. smallbiztrends.com
Beaumont, A. (2015) Do you Try Too Hard? psychologytoday.com
Wood, P. (2017) Five Ways to Create a Great First Impression. pattiwood.net
Knight, R. (2016) How to Make a Great First Impression. hbr.org
Woodward, M. (2017) The Psychology of a First Impression. psychologytoday.com
Parks, J. (2014) 5 Ways to Give a Good First Impression With a Confident Handshake. elitedaily.com
Zenn, J. (2017) How to Make a Good First Impression: 11 Tips to Try. blog.hubspot.com
Ward, A. (2013). The Neuroscience of Everybody’s Favorite Topic. scientificamerican.com
Wagner, E. (2016) How to Make Engaging Eye Contact for a Great First Impression. lifehack.com
Bradberry, T. (2017) 15 Body Language Secrets of Successful People. inc.com
McKay, B. and K. (2017) How to Use Body Language to Create a Dynamite First Impression. artofmanliness.com
Fellizar, K. (2017) Why Being A Good Listener Can Make You More Attractive. bustle.com
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About Bonnie P
Bonnie is a Chicago transplant who's committed to seeing the world on a dime. As an avid news junkie with a fascination with finance, she loves to help others do more with less.
